Hi friends, I haven’t written much since the birth of our babies in August so I wanted to let you know how we are. All I can say is God does miraculous things with broken hearts.
When I thought about life after infant loss, I thought about all the things I would not be able to do:
get out of bed, go to work, have another baby, be a good friend, be a good wife. I forgot that God does miraculous things with broken hearts.
Getting out of bed is hard, forget about work, and having another baby? We are terrified. I am not a good friend, daughter, or wife. In fact our marriage has never been harder. Yet, here we stand, safe in the love of Jesus.
God does miraculous things with broken hearts.
Recently I was talking to someone who lost his daughter just weeks after we lost our daughters.
He said when people ask him how he is, he wants to say;
“how the hell do you think I am”?
I nodded with tears.
I said “but Jesus right”?
He looked at me.
So I said it again, “but Jesus”.
I know exactly how he feels.
But Jesus still.
I thought this part, life after infant loss, would be the easier part. Easier than preparing for our babies to die. But it’s not. I asked Tom why. He said maybe it is because we aren’t clinging to God like we were when I was pregnant. I think he’s probably right.
We have hope, and still we have joy. But our grief is so normal now. Like it will never go away, probably because it won’t. I was struggling with that but the bible says;
1 Thessalonians 4:13: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Yours is a grieving with hope. Theirs is a grieving without hope. That is the key difference. There is no talk of not grieving. That would be like suggesting to a woman who just lost her arm that she not cry, because it would be put back on in the resurrection. It hurts! That’s why we cry. It hurts
To be grieving and still hopeful, to have sorrow and abundant joy; it’s all part of the miraculous things God does with broken hearts.
Always grateful, always thankful,
This November was the first time Tom and I participated in No Spend November, a spending freeze where you only spend on ESSENTIALS for a whole month. How did we do? Well, we kinda blew it on black Friday when I needed a laptop and Tom needed? a PlayStation….yeah, so there was that.
Otherwise, we did pretty good and it made us FINALLY sit down and pay close attention to our budget so I’m calling it a win. I am including our ACTUAL REAL LIFE BUDGET here because I find things like this super helpful and well, I’m all about transparency so here you go.
Our REAL LIFE ACTUAL BUDGET for November:
It is a google sheet and you can also view it here: https://bit.ly/2UTpeBA
I love google sheets and because I love you, you can use this budget template to create your own. (just make a copy, save it and it’s all yours)(message me if it doesn’t work) Even if you never do a spending freeze (which, totally do it) ANY kind of budget will help you get a grip on where your money goes. What are your budgeting tips? Have you done a no spend month and did it help?
Let me know.
Lots of love,
It’s here! No-spend November. Which means not spending money on anything extra for a whole month.
Wish us luck! We are still writing the rules but so far I’ve put back a ton of stuff I would have bought at Target that I really didn’t need so I think it’s going to teach us a lot. Have you done a no-spend month? How did it go? If you have tips do share because I need all the help I can get.
Missing iced-coffee already,
1.Pick one pre-made, store bought costume– $15.00
2. Buy one pumpkin bucket– $1.00
3. Buy two bags of candy– $9.76
Eat pizza for dinner– $5.64
Happy Halloween everyone! How are you doing Halloween this year?
When it comes to fathers, I found the best.
I’ve told Tom the best part of being married is watching him be a dad. Or if I haven’t told him, I should.
The truth is, I give him a hard time; he’ll say all of the time, I say some of the time. Like this weekend, we were celebrating Father’s day with crabs (the best!), I ask Tom to get Tommy food. I was thinking a hot dog, watermelon, maybe coleslaw and a drink- on a plate, with a fork. Tom had his dad get Tommy a hot dog and that was it; no fruit, no vegetable, no plate, no fork. #dadlife.
Things like that baffle me. Or putting Tommy to bed without pajamas- like what? Or not putting him to bed at all and letting him stay up to watch tv. He’s two! I probably have a list but that’s okay. Apparently we aren’t the only ones who parent differently. Dads are special.
When it comes to fathers, they are kind of the best. And truthfully, maybe more fun than mothers. Maybe a lot more fun. Just saying.
When it comes to fathers I know the best: Tom, my own dad and Tom’s dad are some of the sweetest, laid back (in a good way) most fun people I know.
It must be a dad thing.
What are the funny things that your husband/dad does that you never would? I have a whole lot more but like I said, he is kind of the best.
Guess what! I did number eighteen on my 30 while I’m 30 bucket list:
18.) wear a dress to work. I did it and it was completely normal.
Is it wrong to be impressed with myself?
Here is the day I had enough courage to wear a dress to work and I had to document it:
It kind of looks more like a tunic in this picture but it is this jersey knit swing dress from Old Navy. They had them on sale for $10 the other day. I bought three in different colors because I thought they are casual enough to wear to work.
I’m sure I have worn a dress one or two other times for work presentations but never all day long and never out in the field and never as a regular part of my wardrobe. Now I didn’t go wrestle any pigs or anything in this dress but I did do a chick inspection this day and I don’t think anyone thought anything of it.
Because I wore bibs over it- you guys, this whole time I’ve been afraid of wear fancy clothes to work I forgot that I wear coveralls 98% of the time. Hahahahahha.
So yes, I am someone who can successfully wear a dress to work and I feel all sophisticated. Like something normal women do.
I totally packed extra clothes in my truck just incase because #fieldworkgetsmessy but otherwise it was not even a thing. No one even said anything.
I did it again the next week:
And I think ‘wear a dress to work’ is going to be my new thing let’s be real, it’s just like pajamas but acceptable. I feel like a just learned a thing. Like this is what grown-ups do.
Also, stay tuned because I’ve been inspired to start a capsule wardrobe and I think it’s going to change my life. Lots more dresses for sure.