I QUIT my job

I QUIT my job

I QUIT my job.

Friends, this is such a big deal to our little family and before you think, wow girl, must be nice, let me tell you how heart-wrenching, painstaking, fear evoking hard this was. Not just was, still is. We are a working class family. Blessed but we both have to work kind of family. When I first had the idea to stay home it wasn’t, “yeah we can cut out some extras and make it work”, it was more like “well we won’t have groceries but…

The other painstaking part is I loved my job. Like really, really loved it.

I was a livestock inspector– I got paid to drive around and do disease investigations on farms.

But as much as I loved it, something changed on March 16th, 2016. Tommy was born. Work did not become optional, I carried our insurance, my paycheck paid our mortgage. I had to go back after 12 weeks but after Tommy was born, work became impossible. In a way I can’t explain, working motherhood became my deepest struggle.

In my circle of friends no one seemed to struggle with not being home the way I did. Something felt really, really wrong and I didn’t know what to do. So I complained about it a lot. And I thought of all the ways I could make money working from home.

Talking about leaving my job and ALL of my business ideas turned into a major pain point in our marriage. Tom supported me but for sure thought I was going crazy. (Because I was). I became very torn, very money focused and very into the idea of ‘what I wanted to do next’. Something big, something important. Start a business, build my blog, make $5000/month. And yet, nothing happened.

I’ve been building websites since college but I couldn’t seem to make any for profit. Everything was impossible. And I was losing my babies.

Ten months ago, I was sitting in a hospital room, mourning the fact that  I wouldn’t have three kids at home when I ran the math of what we would have been paying in daycare. That’s my salary I thought. Then I thought it again, that is my salary.

It was exactly my take home pay.

I immediately told Tom– I could do in home daycare and quit my job and stay home with Tommy! He didn’t just say no, he said NO WAY. He said I was trying to replace our babies. He said our house would never be clean, he said I would go crazy. He said, you almost just died and you carry our insurance. I felt defeated. I asked my two closest friends (both who do daycare) to pray for him to change his mind.

Seven months later, out of the blue, Tom called me at work, “Hey”, he said, “you know that daycare thing? Why don’t you do that? Do you still want to do that”?

Now, I know God can do bigger miracles than changing Tom’s heart but at that moment, there was nothing more surprising to me.

What I want you to know about quitting my job is that it wasn’t easy. No one told me I should. No one told me how I could. No one told me it was a good idea. It was more than a little bit crazy.

But there is one reason I quit my job. His name is Tommy and he is three.

Life After Infant Loss

Life After Infant Loss

Hi friends, I haven’t written much since the birth of our babies in August so I wanted to let you know how we are. All I can say is God does miraculous things with broken hearts.

When I thought about life after infant loss, I thought about all the things I would not be able to do–
get out of bed, go to work, have another baby, be a good friend, be a good wife. I forgot that God does miraculous things with broken hearts.

Getting out of bed is hard, forget about work, and having another baby? We are terrified. I am not a good friend, daughter, or wife. In fact our marriage has never been harder. Yet, here we stand, safe in the love of Jesus.

God does miraculous things with broken hearts.

Recently I was talking to someone who lost his daughter just weeks after we lost our daughters.
He said when people ask him how he is, he wants to say;

“how the hell do you think I am”?
I nodded with tears.
I said “but Jesus right”?
He looked at me.
So I said it again, “but Jesus”.
He shrugged.

I know exactly how he feels.
But Jesus still.

I thought this part, life after infant loss, would be the easier part. Easier than preparing for our babies to die. But it’s not. I asked Tom why. He said maybe it is because we aren’t clinging to God like we were when I was pregnant. I think he’s probably right.

We have hope, and still we have joy. But our grief is so normal now. Like it will never go away, probably because it won’t. I was struggling with that but the bible says;

1 Thessalonians 4:13: “We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” Yours is a grieving with hope. Theirs is a grieving without hope. That is the key difference. There is no talk of not grieving. That would be like suggesting to a woman who just lost her arm that she not cry, because it would be put back on in the resurrection. It hurts! That’s why we cry. It hurts

To be grieving and still hopeful, to have sorrow and abundant joy; it’s all part of the miraculous things God does with broken hearts.

Always grateful, always thankful,
Emily

No Spend November | How We Did

No Spend November | How We Did

This November was the first time Tom and I participated in No Spend November, a spending freeze where you only spend on ESSENTIALS for a whole month.  How did we do? Well, we kinda blew it on black Friday when I needed a laptop and Tom needed? a PlayStation….yeah, so there was that.

Otherwise, we did pretty good and it made us FINALLY sit down and pay close attention to our budget so I’m calling it a win. I am including our ACTUAL REAL LIFE BUDGET here because I find things like this super helpful and well, I’m all about transparency so here you go.

Our REAL LIFE ACTUAL BUDGET for November:

It is a google sheet and you can also view it here: https://bit.ly/2UTpeBA

I love google sheets and because I love you, you can use this budget template to create your own. (just make a copy, save it and it’s all yours)(message me if it doesn’t work) Even if you never do a spending freeze (which, totally do it) ANY kind of budget will help you get a grip on where your money goes. What are your budgeting tips? Have you done a no spend month and did it help?

Let me know.

Lots of love,

-Em

No-spend November

No-spend November

It’s here! No-spend November. Which means not spending money on anything extra for a whole month.

No spend November

Wish us luck! We are still writing the rules but so far I’ve put back a ton of stuff I would have bought at Target that I really didn’t need so I think it’s going to teach us a lot. Have you done a no-spend month? How did it go? If you have tips do share because I need all the help I can get.

Missing iced-coffee already,

Emily

 

 

 

A Minimalist Guide to Halloween

A Minimalist Guide to Halloween

1.Pick one pre-made, store bought costume– $15.00

2. Buy one pumpkin bucket– $1.00

 

3. Buy two bags of candy– $9.76

Eat pizza for dinner– $5.64

Happy Halloween everyone! How are you doing Halloween this year?

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