You Would Have been Two

August 6, 2020

You would have been two.
Both of you.
I asked your Dad if he still thinks about you.
He says of course and I do too.

There’s a little girl at church, she is also two.
When I look at her, I think about you.

Something happened the day you were born
Heaven met earth in an operating room.
Joy came in where grief should have been.
We loved you forever, we met you just then.

Something happened when they said you would die
I didn’t want to move not ever again. I could have stayed there forever just then.
I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t be.
I stared at the ceiling and started to pray then it happened, God said you would be okay.

It didn’t make sense, I couldn’t say why
When every doctor said you would die
Then at home, God told me again, and again and again.
Watch me He said, watch what I will do.

They told me we would lose you both really soon,
They told me to abort you and start again new.
They said it in a whisper they said it so sad.
They said I’m so sorry this is so bad.
They said it in a way that made me wonder what to do,
The only thing I wanted was to protect you.

But God said, wait and watch, watch what I will do.
All that mattered was what God said about you.
I waited for God to step in, stubbornly I waited for Him.

He said you would be safe, I knew it would be true.
But still all I wanted was you.
Then I saw it, saw it come true, the miracle we asked for, the miracle was you.

To walk through the pain and see it all done, for His glory to say that God had won. To talk about Jesus to everyone we met to say how He saved you when we had no hope left.

You both at peace, you both born safe
Something happened when we saw your face,
Joy rushed in, it took grief’s place
And God did what He said He would do, we could see it then when we looked at you.

You would have been two.
Both of you.
Your Dad asked last night if I still think about you.
I said of course, but something else to,
Heaven is what I think about when I think about you.💕

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