Crossing Mason Dixon

Thoughts on Having Twins After Losing Twins

twins after loss

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twins after loss

Hi friends,

I have lots of thoughts about carrying twins after losing twins and most of it centers around– wow and— how. The rest of the world seems to think this is completely normal, people are excited for us, they say ‘you’re so lucky’ and ‘awe, how sweet’. I am the only one who is completely undone by God’s grace for us in this. And I am. Completely undone. There is a level of surrender I need to reach, the level that allows you to go about a day and not be completely unraveled by the miracles growing inside of me but I’m not there yet. And maybe I don’t want to be. I want it to be January so I can see these babies. It’s all I want. I know part of that is wrapped up in grief and disbelief. Last pregnancy God said, trust me. This time God hasn’t said anything. Just two healthy babies, two heart beats, beating at every appointment. An easy pregnancy. How could that be? Having twins after losing twins is– surreal. In a way it doesn’t make any sense. Medically, one egg split last time, two eggs were fertilized this time but– to my broken heart–two babies this time means, everything.

Friends, I will never make sense of this but to say that God loves us. He’s there in our sorrow and in our joy. He gives us the desires of our hearts and more abundantly. More abundantly so.

If you are praying for something, keep praying. The bible tells us, “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us..” Ephesians 3:20-21

Immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine. I am growing two babies that are proof.

Thank you for praying for us! I am fully convinced someone (or lots of you) were praying we would have twins for a second time and  God answers prayers.

Always thankful, always grateful,

Emily

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Thoughts on Having Twins After Losing Twins

One thought on “Thoughts on Having Twins After Losing Twins

  1. I found your page in instagram while browsing infant loss. I was pregnant with twins last year. I also lost both of them last year. I loss one twin before I find out the gender. The other twin I deliver early at 24 weeks and eventually went to his twin on the 6th day. Feb 2020 is suppose to be my due date. All I am hoping now is to have them both back but I am so afraid that if I got pregnant with twins, same thing would happen.

    Your story gave me hope that maybe not all stories would end the same. Maybe i’ll get a happy ending when that day comes.

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