Find yourself a moms group.
My mom was the first one to tell me to go to MOPS.
I was asking her a bunch of questions about the baby I was about to have. “Just find a moms group, it will keep you sane.” I thought moms group sounded…awkward. I didn’t have a baby yet, I couldn’t relate. All the moms at my church already had babies and their babies were turning into teenagers, what would we relate on?
Oh you know, just motherhood.
I went to a moms group at my church out of desperation and I found my closest friends. Pregnant, I had the most conflicting feelings of fear, anxiety and absolute joy. I felt really out of place at first. The moms were talking about school issues, conflicts with teachers, fights on the bus, my baby wasn’t even born yet. But I kept going. And kept going.
Some nights I didn’t say a word just listened to the moms talk. When would this would help me stop feeling lonely? Some days I would skip (they met every week) and Tom would say “you should really go to that moms group.”
Nah, it’s for real moms, I’m just pregnant, I can’t really relate. “Go anyway”, he would say.
That’s the key to moms group. Go anyway.
Find yourself a moms group. It is okay to shop around. But then go, and go anyway.
Go despite how you feel, despite who you connect with, despite if it means your family is eating McDonald’s for dinner (or breakfast)– just go.
It will be messy and uncomfortable. You’ll feel like the only one– the only one with a baby, or the only one with a teenager, the only one who parents the way you do, the only one who doesn’t eat organic, the only one who works– but you’re not. You are not alone. Most of all, you are not alone.
Find yourself a moms group for community.
If you find a moms group rooted in Jesus, you’ll find the women who will pray for you, who will pray for your children, and they will become the ones you can tell your biggest fears to and who will speak life over them and into you.
Wednesday night moms group was the first time I said, “I am really anxious and I think I need help.” It was another mom who told me how to get help. I had postpartum depression and anxiety. She doesn’t know it but she saved me and she saved my motherhood. Over time, somewhere between playing UNO, doing devotionals and coloring adult coloring pages (weird right?) I found my closest friends.
The ride or die ones. The mom friend ones. The ones who have who have heard my messy heart, been in my messy van, seen my messy house and love me anyway. They love me even when I don’t text them back for days, they know not to call on the phone– who has the time– they love me when I don’t show up and they love it when I do.
Mom friends understand what it’s like to be a mom friend.
I am not like all of my mom friends, not really, I am still the youngest, still the least put together (for sure), I am still the one who refuses to eat organic food and only recently accepted essential oils into my life. But by showing up, over and over, on days when I didn’t feel like, from making them a priority, from making community a priority, I found what I was desperate for………mom friends.
Find yourself a moms group.
You probably have choices of mom groups to join but I am really biased and say go to one with moms who love Jesus. MOPS International is a group for moms founded in the Christ. I stumbled into MOPS because my church has one, (with free childcare– I know right!). But if you want to find one near you– look here: www.mops.org/groupsearch/ and if you want to join mine, send me a message and I’ll look for you there. We have coffee. And childcare. We’re a messy bunch but we will gladly be your mom friends.