Hello Third Trimester

Hello Third Trimester.

I am 30 weeks with our twin pregnancy. Y’all keep asking how we are doing.
The answer of course is……uhhhhhhhhhh.

We are not okay, we are not fine. Conversations in our house are centered around how to get through each day. Our hearts are wide open. I think that is a better explanation than we are heartbroken because despite how hard this is, we are not broken. Our hearts are wide open as we navigate each right decision for our babies. We still have great anticipation of God’s best for our situation. It is still incredibly hard.

The twins diagnosis is the same, we are just four weeks away from a scheduled cesarean. I can’t believe we are so close. It felt impossible to get here and then Saturday I had my first set of contractions, they were just the ‘sit down and drink a big glass of water kind’ but I realized, this is almost over.

This is almost over. Our sweet babies are almost born, how we love them, how honored I am to carry them; as hard as this is.

As pregnancies go, mine has been text book except for the babies not developing correctly. As you do at 30 weeks pregnant, I am learning to say yes to only what is essential. Going to work every day is essential because I need my job (Lord help me), steam cleaning all the carpets in our house is essential because it brings me joy. Cleaning our bathroom mirror not so much. Mowing grass would be essential but no one will let me on a zero turn. (what’s up with that?) Drawing close to God is essential, even when it is hard.

My prayer time is just me sobbing mostly but I do it anyway because God knows what I am trying to say and He always leaves me better off than when I start.

So yeah.

Many have asked what they can do to help us and we don’t really know yet. We will never turn away food, we will never turn away prayers. The most helpful thing anyone has said is: I can see how much you love your babies. And that is for certain.

Thanks so much for the continued prayers.

-Emily

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7 Comments

  1. Lisa
    July 21, 2018 / 3:01 am

    I must have come across your story on facebook, I don’t remember but reading your posts and just seeing your heart towards the Lord during your difficult time is so touching to me. You can get bitter or better. You chose the better and some day you will see the reward for standing. Praying for you and your family.

  2. Tonya
    July 22, 2018 / 1:12 pm

    I love this picture of you! You look beautifully adorable! It has been absolutely inspiring reading your updates. Your heart and love for the Lord and your babies goes beyond “normal” understanding. Thank you for displaying unconditional love! Praying for you all??

  3. Anne E Reid
    July 22, 2018 / 9:31 pm

    Emily,
    You have stated the highest form of praise to God: when one is in the midst of deep trials & difficulties and the unknown, you still praise Him for He is good. I love the depth of your faith and your husband’s in the midst of this…praying for all of you.

  4. Kimerly Kelch
    July 23, 2018 / 2:28 am

    In my life I have suffered the death of a dearly wanted beloved child here on earth more times than you can imagine. Each and every pregnancy knowing the final result I still embraced joyously and full of love for the time God gave me to be their mother. Some never left my womb before God took them home and others soon after I gave every ounce I had to bring them to this world. I have four living beautiful children ranging in age from 31 to 10 but I love everyone of my children regardless of the time God gave me with them. I did not and will never for a single second wish I didn’t have to endure a pregnancy that resulted in a child “ not compatible with life” but I fully embraced Gods blessings of allowing me to be a mother even if for just a mere moment in time. No matter what the final outcome of your pregnancy you ARE, and always will be their mom. From the moment of conception to the end of time you and he were graced with parenthood. You could hide it and pretend it never happened to save your souls from grief and that is absolutely ok. Or you can boldy go forth an proclaim every second and every moment you are parents from pregnancy, birth and death to the world and show everyone that God lives and God loves all of the time no matter what we as mere parents wish/ hope and want for. So please don’t cry, don’t despair, don’t weep for pity if your blessings never take a breath outside of your “chalice” but weep in knowing you were specifically chosen to carry the burden of the message of Gods blessing and never ending Love for us all.

  5. Dottie Perham-Whittier
    August 6, 2018 / 2:40 am

    First of all, congratulations on your babies . . . . their lives have a purpose just like the rest of us. I can’t imagine the ups and downs you are enduring; however, you are quite the testimony. When your babies are born, snuggle . . . take it minute by minute, breath by breath. Please have a photographer take family photos. I will keep your family in my prayers. Dottie in Maine

  6. MARGARET MCGINTY
    August 7, 2018 / 12:10 am

    God bless you. Your courage and faith are inspiring. I am praying for you & your babies as you go into delivery. We don’t have the privilege of knowing why things happen the way they do both good & bad but I pray you will always ” love the Lord with all your heart & lean not on your own understanding” proverbs 3:5. Your faith sends a clear message. Thanks for sharing such an intimate and challenging part of your life

  7. Linda
    August 8, 2018 / 11:37 pm

    Bless you for embracing these precious souls. Your love and courage, even your tears show how precious life is, no matter how long or short it may be. These babies and your family have impacted so many in your journey. Prayers and love to your family as you travel this path.

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