When you have a high risk pregnancy like ours- carrying two babies with a fatal diagnosis, the idea of false hope is something other people think you should avoid. Just don’t have false hope they say.
But our hope is not false.
The first time I heard it, the person I was talking to sighed and said:
“I just hope you and Tom don’t have false hope” I just said “oh, no- we don’t…” and stumbled through the rest of my explanation.
I hung up and stared at the phone.
We do have hope. We have tremendous, peace-giving hope.
Until recently, I have only been talking about the hope I have for my babies with other christians.It’s way easier to talk about hope with people who know the hope you are talking about. Like friends from church or the group of moms I meet with for Mops. And of course with Tom. Definitely not our doctors. How sad to be seen as the parents with false hope.
But in real life, I am asked why I would carry babies with a fatal diagnosis- if that is a wise decision. In real life people don’t know the hope we have and they feel so sorry for us.
In the space in conversation that sometimes feels enormous, I don’t say anything about hope because I don’t want our hope to be perceived as false.
But our hope is not false.
Hope saved my soul when I was seventeen and Tom’s when he was five. Life transforming, soul saving, never-be-the-same hope.
The only thing crazier then worrying about being perceived as having false hope is the idea that our hope could ever be false. People who don’t know the hope we have, don’t know the hope we have.
They don’t know. Tom pointed out the other day as I was going on about people and this false hope thing. Oh man, he is right.
The hope we have for our babies is not because we are religious and follow a code that says don’t abort your babies no matter what. The hope we have is not because someone told us about Jesus or because we believe in acts of healing and soul saving that happened thousands of years ago. We believe in those for today. Right now. We have witnessed them. Actual healing and actual miracles. Our babies are not beyond that. God can. When Jesus saves your soul you are never without hope.
And even if God doesn’t, heaven is our hope.
Our hope is not false.
Thank you for continuing to pray for us. Along with the great peace God has afforded us we believe a covering of prayer is helping us see things we may otherwise not see about our babies and this pregnancy. Things we may otherwise become bitter to- like this idea of false hope. But we aren’t! We are so grateful to each of you who are praying with us and for us for our babies.
All that hope,